from a dad's view

Scared the crap out of me!

RatHave you ever been so scared that you tried to run from something and even though your legs and feet were going a hundred miles an hour, you went no where? It’s like the old cartoon, where they were running so fast and not moving, that smoke started lifting from their feet. Well some us have seen it… not mentioning any names (brother), but it was the funniest thing I had ever seen. We were in my basement with a drop ceiling, where we suspected a mouse or rat had gotten in. We never had one before, so this was a new experience. So, I decided to put poison above the ceiling tile where we thought it was living. Now, not mentioning any names (brother) we ventured down the stairs, as I slowly lifted the ceiling, I saw a piece of ceiling insulation falling out. Being the teaser that I am, as it fell to where my brother (oops) could see it, I yelled loudly, THERE IT GOES! Catching a glance of something leaping from the tile, the man (my brother) started running like an Olympic sprinter, the only difference was, he ran in place practically burning a hole in the carpet. What he envisioned was this giant, man-eating, rat, pictured above, diving for his juggler. This was horribly mean of me, but I’m telling you, if you were there, you to would have laughed your head off. Oh, by the way we were both over the age of 35, not kids.

O.k. now that I’m going to catch hell from (my brother), I’ll tell one on myself. We were TPing (throwing Toilet Paper into the trees) at a friend’s house for Halloween. Iwas about 14 years old, 130 lbs, and apparently not very smart. I was with several older kids, some boys and girls. Anyway, in the process of TPing the dad of the person getting TPed comes busting out of the front door with a shotgun… acting like he was out to kill someone. He pointed the gun in the air and shucked a shell (we thought) into the chamber. Anyone who has hunted, knows the sound of a pump shotgun being loaded, and knows what a shotgun can do to you. Needless to say, I became an Olympic runner just like my older brother, only I was moving, when running. First of all, you can’t out run a shotgun, second of all, it was dark, Third and most important, when running in the dark at full speed, you have to watch for CLOTHES LINES! You guess it, at full speed, I ran my head and neck right into a clothes line and went instantly from an Olympic runner, to an Olympic gymnast, doing a triple flip, in pike position, right onto the ground (scoring all 10’s). All I could hear in the background was the shotgun bearing crazy man, laughing his head off, knowing he scared the CRAP out of me. Now, for the good news, after picking myself up in shame, still running, I leaped into the back of a pickup truck. No, that’s not the good news, the good news was, that a very attractive high school girl was leaping in after me and landing on top of me, Oh, did I mention that she was a high schooler, and I was in junior high.

There’s a couple of examples, now give me your moments, that you were scared the crap out of.

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16 responses

  1. Cool picture Ryan!
    Here goes. My younger sister Nancy(by two years) and I shared a room.She was 1st grade and I, 3rd. I told her there was a bloody hand that lived under our beds and that we had to jump six feet away from the bed if we needed to use the restroom or the bloody hand would get us. So that’s what we began doing. We would talk about the bloody hand at night and over the months really began to believe in it. We made up all sorts of awful things it might do to us if it ever caught us. One night we were laying there talking and there was something scratching my sheet on my sister’s side of my bed. I told her to quit it and she said she didn’t do anything. Then there was a scratching on her sheet to my bed’s side and she told me to quit it. My breathing changed immediately and I told her that she was carrying this too far and quit scratching her sheet. She said she wasn’t doing anything and what if it was the bloody hand. I told her to cut it out. She said I was doing it. We were arguing back and forth each believing the other was lieing when this humongous growl went up between our beds and somehow the lamp went flying my sister vamoosed and I wet the bed. My Dad said, it’s late and way past your bedtime. You girls need to quiet down.” I don’t remember if we laughed or not. I know it took a long time to get over the scare. The silly thing is that my sister is 56 and I am 58 and she confided in me the last time we were together that she still reaches her legs way away from the side of the bed when getting up at night. I told her she was not the only one. I still do too. For my sister and I the bloody hand exists to this day and is a family story we’ve handed down to our kids.

    October 30, 2009 at 7:32 pm

    • Oh now that’s a good one, that’s good enough for a campfire story. You’ve got me scared!
      By the way, if you ever need a helping hand… you’ll know where to find it!

      October 31, 2009 at 1:15 pm

      • I can’t believe you said that! Of course just ask under the bed. What I’m really hoping is that I forget about it as I age furthur. Try explaining that you broke your hip because you had to jump six feet from the side of your bed because of something that lives under your bed. I’ll get committed for sure.

        October 31, 2009 at 3:58 pm

  2. That drawing of yours just scared the crap out of me! Yikes!

    October 31, 2009 at 8:01 am

    • No crapping allowed, but I would look under your bed tonight, the rat may be waiting for you to fall alseep!

      October 31, 2009 at 1:18 pm

  3. Bro

    yes, I am the (brother) mentioned in the article – and yes that was my best ‘running’ time. lol

    My lil bro and I have many fun and fond memories with which we share a laugh together.
    Here is one – not mentioning any names (lil bro).

    Among our ‘young kids’ years, during the summer and weekends lil bro, sis, and I would stay up late at night and play board games (this was before the age of Atari). In the center of our hallway was a large register that was the object of our home’s heating unit. When utilized it became very hot and you would have to walk around it.

    It was a cold and dark night, with the moon and stars covered by the eerie clouds of black. We were all in the bedroom playing a boardgame when (lil bro) decided he needed a drink of water. Now (lil bro) had to be but around the age of 6, and proceeded out the bedroom door walking carefully around the hot floor register. A minute or two later we heard the sound of the water streaming from the kitchen faucet followed by a terrifying scream.

    Within seconds, lil bro was standing in our bedroom with an terrifying look on his face.

    In front of the kitchen sink was a large window. Apparently as (lil bro) was getting a drink the neighbors large black dog had jumped up from outside at the window. The only thing my (lil bro) saw was the piercing red eyes.

    To this day we cannot figure out how this little tyke (lil bro) managed to jump across that red hot floor register. We have believe that this was the first documentation of ‘star trek teleportation’.
    Awww the memories we carry. 🙂
    luv ya (lil bro)
    bro

    November 1, 2009 at 6:06 am

  4. joz1234

    guy with a chainsaw scared the crap out of some friends and I who were out on Halloween night trick or treating when we were in Jr High. I’ve never been so scared in my life!

    November 1, 2009 at 8:12 pm

  5. Joz. My neighbor always does something horrendous for the kids each year. One year he had a cemetary set up in his front yard complete with headstones and skeletons crawling out of the earth and halloween horror music blaring. He also set up a fog machine so the kids would have to walk through the fog to get to the front door. Just when they reached the door, (dressed in a Jason mask and coveralls) he’d run out from beside the house flashing a huge cardboard knife wrapped in aluminum foil. The next year he sat at a table with treats all around, dressed as that hooded ghost of Christmas past, and encourage the kids to come to his table and take a treat.

    November 2, 2009 at 7:04 am

    • Oh so much fun. My brother and I used to set up haunted house in our garage or basement. We had falling bats, people in coffins, and the old, reach your hand and feel the eyeballs (skinned grapes), blood veins (spaghetti), and the last box was one of us under the table with a hole cut into it, to reach our hand through, when they put their hand in the box to feel more gross stuff, we would grab their hand from with in the box. Screams, screams and more screams!

      November 2, 2009 at 7:25 am

  6. Oh, I LOVE this creature, with pink feet, of all things !! Made me laugh even before I read the story!!

    November 2, 2009 at 11:14 am

    • Thanks napabelle. If only I could have captured the moment in film, youtube would have had a million hits.

      November 2, 2009 at 11:24 am

  7. I like the funny look of this rat. Seems like he is tripping, rolling and cursing all the way.

    November 4, 2009 at 10:43 pm

  8. Thanks for the chuckle – it’s good to see the looseness you used for this fun picture.

    November 11, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    • It’s always a good thing to make people laugh. Especially at my brothers expense.

      November 11, 2009 at 1:07 pm

  9. I really can’t put into words how awesome this painting is.
    All of your paintings make me excited about working with color.

    December 4, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    • Thank you shecartoons, you’re more than kind.
      I just visited your blog, and your well on your way, talented and funny. My views were a lot like yours earlier in life,
      now after kids, work, taxes and responsibilites, they have completely turned in the last 25 years. Stay funny, use your talent, but more importantly stay informed and use it wisely. But as I always say “what do I know”. Thanks for visiting and I’ll keep and eye on your blog as well.

      December 4, 2009 at 7:26 pm

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