from a dad's view

Why? God – watercolor

Questions, life is full of questions. I’m not talking about those questions that have definite answers, you know, the ones asked in school, although I didn’t have answers for very many for those either, But they did have answers.  The questions that I’m talking about are those in our past that made us stop and either wonder why, or possibly cry, because we questioned.  One of my most tearful questions for years, was my mom divorcing my dad. I was nine, and I can tell you that this tore major holes in my heart, so I questioned why.  The loss of my grandparents that were the most religious and God-loving people, and yet taken by cancer, I questioned why.  The meeting of my wife in high school, her being so good, and I was a waste, but she still found love with me, I questioned how I deserve this.  The birth of my two brilliantly smart and absolutely beautiful both physically and within their hearts, I questioned how did I deserve them.  There were times that I questioned my faith, and just wanted to scream to the Lord above, WHY!  Why would you take such wonderful, God-loving people, that were some of the purist of Christian love so early in life. I didn’t just question, but I was angry.  How could the Lord take a young child and allow cancer to eat their bodies away until death, and yet allow, what could be a healthy person, kill their bodies with drugs and alcohol.  But I do know, after months, or years  after I questioned why on these occasions, there always seemed to be an answer given.  Unfortunately, so many people and especially young kids, question, but don’t allow enough time to go by to see the answer.  My wife’s cousin, and a good high school friend of mine both questioned, but took their lives before they could receive and answer. The sad thing is, if they would have given it a day, or weeks, I’m sure that both would have been living a good life today with children and a wife, but sadly they’re gone.

What I wanted to show in this painting was pain being felt, but a prayer bringing a glimpse of hope into this young girls heart and eyes.  Watching my girls grow, and go through high school, I have seen a lot of pain in their hearts, and I remember having that pain myself as a child and young adult, where you weren’t sure if your heart can take anymore pain, and whether it was all worth it.  I can tell you, it is worth it, be strong, work hard at everything you do, and most importantly, have Faith, have Faith in yourself, friends, family and most importantly in God.  Don’t hold things in, it’s not worth it, talk to your friends and family about things that bother you, but most importantly, close your eyes, open your heart, and pray.  As you grow in faith, you will grow in confidence, friendships, and the love of life.

The painting is a 9″ x 9″ watercolor on 140lb cold press paper.  I did this one, and another ATC last night while watching football.  This is a first of this style for me as a portrait, and it’s a must for you to try.

31 responses

  1. This is a lovely story to go with this well expressed painting, Ryan. Life is so full of unanswered questions, and all we can do is place our trust in God…for He has a plan and knows what He is doing. And it is beyond our own understanding, but we must trust Him.
    I loved the story and the painting, Ryan!
    Deb xx

    October 4, 2011 at 6:14 am

    • Thank you Debbie,
      I hope either the painting or the story will touch someone out there, maybe giving them a little hope, and a glance at something that could be with a little faith. Thanks!

      October 4, 2011 at 6:22 am

  2. This is so cool, Ryan. I can see a glimmer of hope in her eyes, as though she is starting to see how the pain is going to serve some greater purpose. Love this post and the painting!!!!

    October 4, 2011 at 6:33 am

    • Thank you Beth,
      I know the pain that has made so many people give up, I just hope this helps or at least makes someone think twice before making a mistake that touches everyone around them.

      October 4, 2011 at 6:36 am

  3. napabelle

    I love the drips in this…it really works ! That is a wonderful portrait, full of emotions… Bravo !

    October 4, 2011 at 6:56 am

    • I love doing this style of watercolors, being a graphic artist it feels good sometimes just to let it run out of control! Thanks

      October 5, 2011 at 10:22 am

  4. 😦 I have a lot of question , just like u. I could not find any answer . I can undrestand your feeling. your painting clearly shows your sadness and pain.

    October 4, 2011 at 6:58 am

    • The answers seem to always come along, it just takes time for them to arrive sometimes. Thanks!

      October 5, 2011 at 10:20 am

  5. simply beautiful! thanks for stopping by my space so I could see your wonderful work!! 🙂

    October 4, 2011 at 11:37 am

    • Thank you Kimberly,
      I enjoyed your blog and I’m thrilled that you stopped in!

      October 5, 2011 at 10:19 am

  6. This is a lovely, evocative portrait, Ryan. We spend our whole lives trying to answer those questions and I don’t think it is ever easy. Not if we are trying to experience life to the fullest. Sometimes, though, we do find an answer in an unexpected place.

    October 6, 2011 at 10:24 am

    • Thank you Ruth,
      I think if they were easy (the answers), like everything else that is easy, it surely wouldn’t mean much. Most things hard, are well worth the result. Thanks!

      October 6, 2011 at 5:23 pm

  7. The portrait is very emotional.

    Maybe there is no god?

    October 6, 2011 at 11:30 am

    • Nope, pretty sure there is one, after all you had to get your wonderful talent from someone. A great scientist once said (sorry I can’t remember who it was, but I’ll try to find out) , while he was trying to prove there wasn’t a God, that the odds of a big bang (great t.v.t show though) or any other scientific way of creation could have happened, would be like completely covering the earth with dimes, pile them out as far as the moon, paint a single dime red, and have a blind folded astronaut go out and with only one pick, pick the exact and one and only red dime. I a believer in things you can’t physically touch or see, such as Love, Faith, Hope and yes even God. Thanks Carol!

      October 6, 2011 at 5:20 pm

  8. Been in that phase and I am still in that phase. Just enduring through with the disappointments in my life. You have captured that raw feeling in this painting. Well done!

    October 6, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    • Thank you!
      Your such a wonderful talent, so the comment means a lot.

      October 6, 2011 at 5:09 pm

  9. Very successful painting. The beautiful painting matches your beautiful words and I admire your courage and devotion to your family and your faith. I love the style – very effective and spiritually lyrical!

    October 8, 2011 at 4:19 am

    • Thank you Linda,
      I truly believe that the belief in a higher family made this country strong and families strong, but we seem to be losing that, and if the end comes and I’m wrong, it only made me stronger while living… so I wonder where the down side is?

      October 8, 2011 at 5:14 am

  10. I love the lady. She is very free-spirited and mysterious. Beautiful work.

    October 16, 2011 at 2:42 pm

  11. Francis

    I agree, faith, prayer and love is one of the key ingredient to life just as air, water and food. Without it humanity is just an empty shell without soul. I lke the girl in the painting,her expresiion tell a thousand words.

    October 19, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    • Thank you Francis,
      I hope all is well and your portraits have been amazing!

      November 2, 2011 at 4:33 pm

  12. This piece truly captured that emotion, and I love your watercolor technique here as well.

    October 20, 2011 at 7:09 am

    • Thank you,
      I was hoping to get the emotions without it looking to dark.

      November 2, 2011 at 4:33 pm

  13. aswirly

    I have been enjoying this painting on your blog, although I apologize at being so late at leaving a comment. The style is beautiful, and the image very moving.

    October 27, 2011 at 8:53 pm

    • Thank you Amber!
      I know what you’re talking about, It’s been a crazy couple of months, but I hope to slow down soon. I’ve missed visiting everyones blog, but
      just haven’t had the time lately. This style is fun and I enjoy doing it every once in awhile, but her eyes just captivated me.

      November 2, 2011 at 4:32 pm

  14. Androgoth

    I think that you have captured the essence of both…


    November 8, 2011 at 4:17 pm

  15. Kelly

    Oh wow… I really really really love your work. It’s all beautiful. You’re so talented! and I hope one day I can be even half as good as you are! It’s all lovely…

    January 12, 2012 at 11:24 am

    • Wow thank you for such sweet words and thanks for stopping by my blog. You have tons of talent and so young, I’m sure you’ll have a great future ahead of you. Thanks again and I hope you’ll return!

      January 12, 2012 at 11:36 am

      • Kelly

        You’re very welcome. And I’ll definitley be stopping your blog by again! Thank you!

        January 16, 2012 at 2:11 pm

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