Why? God – watercolor
Questions, life is full of questions. I’m not talking about those questions that have definite answers, you know, the ones asked in school, although I didn’t have answers for very many for those either, But they did have answers. The questions that I’m talking about are those in our past that made us stop and either wonder why, or possibly cry, because we questioned. One of my most tearful questions for years, was my mom divorcing my dad. I was nine, and I can tell you that this tore major holes in my heart, so I questioned why. The loss of my grandparents that were the most religious and God-loving people, and yet taken by cancer, I questioned why. The meeting of my wife in high school, her being so good, and I was a waste, but she still found love with me, I questioned how I deserve this. The birth of my two brilliantly smart and absolutely beautiful both physically and within their hearts, I questioned how did I deserve them. There were times that I questioned my faith, and just wanted to scream to the Lord above, WHY! Why would you take such wonderful, God-loving people, that were some of the purist of Christian love so early in life. I didn’t just question, but I was angry. How could the Lord take a young child and allow cancer to eat their bodies away until death, and yet allow, what could be a healthy person, kill their bodies with drugs and alcohol. But I do know, after months, or years after I questioned why on these occasions, there always seemed to be an answer given. Unfortunately, so many people and especially young kids, question, but don’t allow enough time to go by to see the answer. My wife’s cousin, and a good high school friend of mine both questioned, but took their lives before they could receive and answer. The sad thing is, if they would have given it a day, or weeks, I’m sure that both would have been living a good life today with children and a wife, but sadly they’re gone.
What I wanted to show in this painting was pain being felt, but a prayer bringing a glimpse of hope into this young girls heart and eyes. Watching my girls grow, and go through high school, I have seen a lot of pain in their hearts, and I remember having that pain myself as a child and young adult, where you weren’t sure if your heart can take anymore pain, and whether it was all worth it. I can tell you, it is worth it, be strong, work hard at everything you do, and most importantly, have Faith, have Faith in yourself, friends, family and most importantly in God. Don’t hold things in, it’s not worth it, talk to your friends and family about things that bother you, but most importantly, close your eyes, open your heart, and pray. As you grow in faith, you will grow in confidence, friendships, and the love of life.
The painting is a 9″ x 9″ watercolor on 140lb cold press paper. I did this one, and another ATC last night while watching football. This is a first of this style for me as a portrait, and it’s a must for you to try.